Experience of a Lifetime

I have been fortunate to have accomplished a lot in school and sports receiving many honors. Yet, none compare to how I felt when a younger student, who attended church with me in the past, told me that the work I am doing as a CRF, and the change I have gone through in my life helped him come out and express his gay identity openly. My mind was absolutely blown! Obviously, I wasn’t the sole reason for this individual to come out, but just to be a part of his coming out process was incredible.

I saw him at a party and he appeared awkward towards me at first. I could tell he felt uncomfortable, but I struck up a conversation with him anyway. He told me that he saw me in the Pride Center, but didn’t know what my job was. He said he hid so that I couldn’t see him and possibly, identify him as gay. He remembered me from high school as a person that would use the word “gay” as filler in almost every sentence that came out of my mouth. He knew me as a guy who sat at the table and threw food at the one or two openly gay students in my high school. It’s no wonder why this student would be terrified of me seeing his true identity, and hide from me.

Thankfully to the staff at the Pride Center he had several conversations about what I was doing on campus and that I was transitioning into becoming an ally to the LGBT community. He was relieved to find out that I have become an ally to the LGBT community over the last two years, and was completely shocked when I gave him a huge hug after he told me about his identity. He was almost struck speechless as I began asking questions about how his life has changed since he began to express his true identity. Finally after the initial shock wore off we had one of the most amazing conversations of my life, learning about how his family has reacted and how much happier he has been.

It was funny how even though he knew I was an ally, it still took him several minutes to be completely sure that I was an accepting person. He explained to me that he heard of my transition and that if I was capable of changing from who I used to be that it gave him hope that his dad might be accepting of who he truly was. When our conversation ended, I gave him another hug and warned him that I’ll give him one every time I see him on campus. I left that conversation with an excitement I haven’t experienced in a long time.

He gave me a sense of accomplishment, that the work I do and the changes I’m making in my life actually mean something. People around me are feeling more comfortable in expressing their true identities. I feel a stronger sense of comfort from my peers as they interact with me. I cherish my job for what it has done for me and my interaction with others. I may have only made a small impact on one individual that I know of so far, but it has made a enormous impact on me.

Kevin Rodemack

Community Relations Facilitator – Westside Quad

www.oregonstate.edu/uhds/diversity_initiative/crf

The comments shared by the Community Relations Facilitator program are strictly the point of view from the author and do not necessarily reflect the views and opinions of UHDS. If this article has inspired a desire to dialogue, the author, or another CRF and/or any Resident Assistant, Resident Director or CoOp Director would be happy to participate. Please contact Victor Santana-Melgoza (Victor.Santana-Melgoza@oregonstate.edu), UHDS Multicultural Resource Coordinator, to assist in making arrangements.