I grew up in a small town where you couldn’t get away with much because everyone knew each other. I went to school with the same kids from preschool to high school. I was fortunate enough to live on property where I could ride four wheelers, swim in the pool and play outside. My neighborhood had no diversity and has remained predominantly white for the forty years my family has lived there. Growing up in a small community I wasn’t exposed to diverse populations. I can remember my first African American teacher when I was in kindergarten. She was a beautiful tall woman, but I remember her being kind and soft. I didn’t know then, that would be the only teacher of color I would have until I reached college.
As I look back and reflect on my racial academic experience, I begin to realize the little experience I have had with race. For the first eighteen years of my educational journey my teachers, fellow students, and neighbors were White. Even sitting her and writing about my racial experiences in education is difficult because it has been a topic that I have never explored. It has opened my eyes to the small amount of race discussion in my classrooms growing up. My teachers in middle school and high school never talked about race or created a safe dialogue to discuss racism. It was something I knew existed but I feared engaging in a conversation about race because of the sensitivity surrounding the topic.
When I was in middle school there was one African American student. My best friend had the biggest crush on him, and they would go onto dating. In my school he was known as the bad kid who was good at sports. I can remember him always being in trouble with teachers and coaches. He would tell us about his home life being tough and there were times when he would come to school with dirty clothes on and had to shower in the school locker room. I remember having a conversation with my mom about him and how lucky I felt to have a safe home and a shower. This was the first glimpse of me realizing the privileges I had.
High school was nothing different, most of the faculty, students and families were White. There were a small population of Latinos and two brothers that were African American. I can recall the brothers saying racist jokes and wondering if they were doing that, so it didn’t hurt when someone else did. I did cheerleading in high school and before one of the football games my friend cornrowed my hair. After the game one of my friends confronted me and said my hair made me look black. How could the way I style my hair categorize me as a certain race? This class has allowed me to look at experiences like that and understand how society shapes our understanding of race.
My experience learning about race was through school, movies, and shows. What my teachers taught me or what I was exposed to on the television shaped my first experiences of different races. I have always been a huge sports fan and growing up I always thought that African American were better at sports than White athletes. I know now that race isn’t based on our biological make up and we are all one human species. But as a kid we makeup stories, but this can also be something we are taught and I am now challenging what I have been taught.
Oregon State was my first experience of diversity in my classes and on campus. There were groups and clubs for people of all different races. My teachers, other students, faculty were people of color. It was an eye-opening experience to meet students from all over the world. I realized how sheltered I had been to diversity. There was a day I sat in the dining hall and I met a student from Africa. I was amazed to hear his journey coming to America and going to a university. To him it was one of the greatest opportunities to get a higher education and come to America. It made me realize how fortunate I was to go to college. I had taken it for granted how easy it was for me to get a higher education and I became conscious of the ways I was privileged. When I graduated college, I decided to do a mission trip to Belize. That experience has changed me forever. Belize is a community that suffers from poverty, violence, and resources. But what I discovered was the people of Belize barely had anything, but they were the happiest and most giving people I had ever met. I realize how many people in this world don’t have essentials such as food, water, or basic education but they build a community to survive. Belize taught me that life was more than materialistic things but about the people and community you surround yourself with.
Although I have not experienced a large amount of diversity in my education journey, I am learning to not fear engaging about racism and challenging what I have been taught by societies structures. I think many students fear talking about race so they avoid it or believe it doesn’t exist because it is the easier thing to do. As a White female I am always second guessing what I am saying when talking about race because I fear I will say the wrong thing or unintentionally offend someone but that is part of the learning process. I want to have uncomfortable conversations to challenge people to think about how they are creating social injustice. I want to expose myself to different cultures and communities and continue to educate myself on social justice. Every time I have traveled, I have learned something new about myself and other cultures. But before I do, I am fearful that I won’t be accepted or staying in my little bubble in the world in safer. But this can be the same for talking about race in education. Although, it may seem like an overwhelming and sensitive road to go down you won’t know the impact it can have on you or our education system until we take the first step. I think it is important to explore the world and ways that cultures and people connect. But we must do this in our everyday life whether we are traveling, at work or in a classroom.
