Derek Abrams, CVE VSG

Whether we admit it or not, we are always communicating, be it verbal, silent, evasive or poorly. It is the most important thing we do in the process of getting things done, or not done.

Even when we choose not to communicate, we have made a choice to communicate. Sometimes not communicating is to express agreement or more precisely the lack of opposition. Sometimes not communicating is to express dissension, either for the idea, proposal, action or a person or group.

Not communicating to express dissension is passive aggressive and not conducive to a healthy collaborative environment.

ASK YOURSELF:

Am I communicating what I want to communicate, which is a reflection of who I am as a person,  if I could be openly honest with those I am communicating, and if not – Why?

SHOULD YOU ANSWER EVERY GENERAL OR INDIRECT QUERY?

That depends on YOU and who you are as a person. As long as you are consistent, then you are being authentic. For example, if by not communicating you are ALWAYS saying that you either agree, have no opinion or are not opposed to the decision or direction, then people can count on your non-communication to be clear. If you use non-communication at times for ANY other reason, then you are not being clear and thus your non-communication is confusing and cannot, therefore, be trusted – which means that YOU cannot be trusted.

ASK FOR TIME

If you need time to consider something, let it be known so that your non-communication is not confused with what you ALWAYS want it to mean.

“I understand what you are saying  AND I need some time to consider your thought (idea, proposal, action, etc..), may I get back to you by ____?”

CLOSE THE LOOP

It is very important to close the loop whenever you expose the slightest contradiction in your communication – if for no other reason than to maintain clarity of meaning to your communication. If you expose such a contradiction, set a time limit and then follow through if only to reaffirm that you either agree, have no opinion or do not oppose the decision or direction.