I remember the week before I began classes well. I was terrified.

I thought I was setting myself up for failure. I mean, I’d been out of school for three years. Could I really do this? Despite my respectable GPA, I struggled with a lot of subjects in school. Science and math never made sense to me, and I found history confusing and frustrating. I began wondering if my acceptance to OSU was a mistake. I wondered how they chose me. How did I make the cut? I though to myself, “I’m not smart enough for this. I’m going to flunk out”.

I was wrong.

Here I am, at the end of my first term at Oregon State University. Not only did I not fail, but I truly succeeded, and exceeded my expectations. I have surprised myself: I’ve been successful.

I feel so happy to be a part of this community, and I am excelling in my classes. (Okay, okay. I have a B in history, but that’s better than I ever could’ve expected).

When it comes to online learning, I have encountered some challenges. First, I am extremely disorganized. I am not a person that can follow a schedule or calendar, and my file folders that started off color coded on the first day of classes have become a disaster. Naturally, I am also someone that struggles with time management. I think I could better place first in an Olympic decathlon than properly plan a day, let alone a week (and I am anything but athletic).

However, as much as I struggle to admit it, I do have natural strengths. Despite the anxiety I face, I am an incredibly open person. It was a struggle, but I was able to explain my setbacks to my professors, and discuss options that would give me a better chance of getting the most out of my classes. In addition, I am a perfectionist, and incredibly hard on myself. Though this doesn’t appear to go well with being a procrastinator, it’s all that keeps me afloat academically. I put a lot of pressure on myself to do my best, so although it may take me a long time to get something done, I almost always produce work I’m proud of. Lastly, I care so deeply about my education, that I approach everything with sincere desire to not only score well, but to learn all that I can. This has helped me greatly in being successful in my classes.

The main tool I use to keep myself on track is the Canvas app. I am able to keep track of my weekly to do list, broken down by due date. In addition, I can easily access Canvas from anywhere- I most often check it in bed when I first wake up, to be able to get a glimpse of my day (and my grades).

The main strategy I will use is to be patient with myself. Rather than being overly critical, I need to give myself time to really immerse myself in assignments, to provide better understanding. Also, by giving myself more time, I will be able to give myself breaks when I feel too overwhelmed. It’s important to leave time for self care in between stressful assignments, as I’ve learned through experience.

The library, Canvas app, OSU Open Campus, and psychological services are the resources I plan to utilize most. The library, of course, is practically essential in conducting effective research, and has great tools in order to provide better understanding of the research process. The Canvas app is an extremely valuable resource, as I mentioned. It makes schoolwork highly accessible, and provides a feeling of connection to your classes throughout the day.

Open Campus is what I discussed in my “One Thing” presentation, and provides short, free courses that will lead to so much more learning opportunities and broaden my horizons. Lastly, the psychological services for students are beyond helpful, and I am so thankful even ecampus students have access. OSU does an amazing job at caring for students’ mental heath and safety, and I’m proud to go to a university that cares so much for its students.

My goal for the next term is to gain a better understanding of what I want to do with my life. Though I know my calling is to help animals (and hopefully people, too), I hope to be able to identify the career and degree choice that will best fit who I am as an individual, and what I am meant to do in this lifetime.

This term, I was able to identify my goals through the natural process of learning about myself, and also using SMART goals. Developing a SMART goal helped me to identify my values, and also what is possible in the short vs. long term.

Throughout this class, I have gained a much deeper understanding of myself, and how I will further pursue my education. I know for sure through what I have seen in discussion posts that all or most of you have had a similar experience, and I am thankful that we have all had the opportunity to participate and engage in this class.

I am fortunate to have had this experience, and to have gotten to know all of you in some way. Good luck next term, everyone!

Hello, everyone!

It’s hard to believe it’s already been three weeks. I’m amazed I’ve made it this far in one piece. School isn’t something that’s necessarily come easy to me throughout my life. I’d like to think I’m a (relatively) smart person, and I certainly try hard, but like everyone I have my own limitations. We are all presented with challenges in life, and it’s all part of the human experience to overcome them. I am definitely no exception.

When it comes to school, I got delayed a couple years. I partly blame it on being a pig on the Chinese zodiac, as we’re known to be late bloomers, but it’s probably mostly due to anxiety (but that just doesn’t sound as nice). The thing is, I’m painfully shy. Like, have-my-mom-make-my-doctor’s-appointments shy. Because of this, and a few other setbacks, I never thought I’d be able to make it in college. Or a career. Or even life at some points.

But, my passion for animals has helped me to overcome that. I knew in my heart my life’s purpose was to help wild animals, and I couldn’t do that without a degree. That was the push I needed. So, I spent a few months researching schools and reviewing my options, and I came across OSU. I was instantly impressed by the Fisheries and Wildlife program, and really liked the idea of distance learning. I wasn’t sure I have the discipline for it (I don’t), but I decided to apply. And here I am.

Something that’s come as a huge surprise to me these first couple of weeks, is that I can do this. I learn differently, but I can learn. I can succeed.

A few weeks before school started, I had an absolute meltdown. I was constantly panicking, wondering if I’d made the wrong choice. I wasn’t sure I could do this. Would the work be too much? Would online school be too isolating? What if I needed help? Would I be able to utilize all the resources? Am I smart enough?

But I’m here, and I’m not only alright, but I already feel like I’m thriving here.

Despite being anxious and overly critical, I do have strengths, even if it’s hard to remember that sometimes.

One of my strengths is the amount of passion I have. I have such a drive to succeed, and such a desire to do what I love, that I can overcome all of my weaknesses.

As far as weaknesses go, I’m very disorganized, I have an awful memory, very little discipline, and I just seem to process information differently than others. Back in school, I was awful at math. Painfully awful. I had teachers who passed me because they knew how hard I tried and felt bad (yes, they really told me that). But, I had one teacher, Mr. Hawkins, who spent a lot of time working with me individually. He showed me how to do each problem a million ways. And while it usually took me a week or two to grasp, I always got it. Strangely enough, I’d always have an easier time understanding the longer/more tedious equations than the shortcut versions he taught everyone else. What that taught me is if I don’t “get” something the first time, there is always an alternate way. There are so many ways to learn.

I’ve used that lesson to help me here at OSU. When I do my work, I always do it on the couch because I feel trapped at a desk. It greatly increases my productivity by reducing the time I spend fidgeting and wishing I was anywhere (literally anywhere) but sitting at a desk for hours. Another thing I do is when I’m doing a reading, I always read it once slowly, taking my time, then again to take notes. Not only to I better absorb the information, but I don’t waste time or paper on things that aren’t key facts because I’ve already finished and understood the reading as a whole, so I know what matters.

What I’m saying is I can adapt to anything, which is a quality I’m very lucky to have, and didn’t even know I had outside of sophomore year geometry. It was a big shock when the first time I felt discouraged when attempting an assignment, that I was able to identify a different way to look at it, think about it, and complete it.

Essentially, the biggest surprise I’ve learned at OSU so far is also my biggest strength: I’m capable. Despite my setbacks, struggles, illnesses, and whatnot, I’m so capable. I have some days where I feel less so than others, but I know that I can do this, and I’m where I’m meant to be.